Real is being conscious in the moment; living and breathing each minute and focusing your intellect on what is presently occuring.  real is how you relate to what is going on around you, if you are not conscious in each moment then you are dreaming /drfiting through "life" by merely existing as a consequence of other's actions and decisions.  Take charge of your own reality by living in it, wallow in the present, and do not waste through worry or anxiety.

In the midst of what is surely the most hectic time in my and my family's life, I am trying earnestly to keep laughing and smiling instead of scrunching and grinding my teeth or pulling out my hair.  My only sister, as well as my best friend from 3rd grade are getting married, and I am relocating across the country within a week of each other. The legisitics of it all are a nightmare!!!!! and time is closing in.

Anyway, this is a happy blog...

Last night while at work a coworker was harrasing me about my healthy eating habbits.  Poking fun at my veggie burgers and, etc.  So when he asked me what I was eating I responded with "actually real chicken, over coleslaw"  he followed with: "are those free range carrots?"  Then in a fit of over exhaustion, we joked about the imagery of a carrot in a four by four cage running amuck and shaking the bars to be let free to have more space.

Very silly indeed, but the little things are what get us by and remind us to appreciate the people in our lives while we have them.  Especially in my regard, as I am moving 3,000 miles away in three weeks.  I think I will alwaysremember Mike fondly and laugh at the free range carrot trying to break free of the cage.

If there is anything I can recommend to the masses with my own life experience as guidance I must say only to smile.  I smile at strangers, at friends, at aquaintances, etc.  When I recieve a smile I am enlightened, heartened, and revivied; spreading joy and love is the greatest effort we can make to create a more unified world, and a simple smile, especially when you least feel you have the energy and light to give is the greatest gift of all!

Take a moment and share a smile with a stranger today when you feel you have nothing left to give, and realize the power that we all embrace here at zaadz, that there is love and compassion all around, and strength within us and around us when we least expect it


namaste... 

 

Fountain of youth

Main Entry: ¹foun·tain

Pronunciation: \ˈfau̇n-t^ən\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French funtaine, fontaine, from Late Latin fontana, from Latin, feminine of fontanus of a spring, from font-, fons

Date: 14th century

1: the source from which something proceeds or is supplied

2: a spring of water issuing from the earth

3: an artificially produced jet of water; also : the structure from which it rises

4: a reservoir containing a liquid that can be drawn off as needed

Main Entry: ²fountain

Function: verb

Date: 1903

intransitive verb : to flow or spout like a fountain

transitive verb : to cause to flow like a fountain

When considering the question at hand, I cannot help but think of the eternal quest for the fountain of youth.  If I were to stop aging now I would be at the peak of youth (23 years and in close to prime physical shape).  However, by the wording of the prompt I must confess I would rather not stop aging here.  I don't want to stop anywhere; I will continue to flow and be fed from the origin or source of my truth and to thrive off of the energy that this flow creates. 

A fountain by definition is fluid, and continuous; it contains the powers and resources of the Earth (and its beings, if we are discussing the fountain of youth as it pertains to life), it can be tapped into or drawn from when needed, which reveals the power of storage.  As humans, how can we store if we no longer grow and learn and experience?  How can we stay alive if we are not evolving, revolving, spouting? 

The imagery of a fountain, as an aesthetic structure, feeds my concept of a collective/community/society.  The We that is being discussed.  I am the fountainhead of my individuality; the origin or source of my Self.  I then, derived from fullness (not out of need) spout my energies and resources to the world to share the beauty that comes from within as a display of life-force that is fluid and receptive to outside elements (gravity, wind, sun, etc. = other individuals and external forces)  The display is constantly changing and ever producing.  Eventually what flows out returns to the source to be re-purified and spouted out again in some different shape, way, form.

If humans remain in one place, at one stagnant point of life, only THEN do we age and become old.  The fountain of eternal youth is within us all, and it is found through growing, learning, moving forward, thinking backward, reaching out, and letting in all of the glories, wonders, and resources of the world.  When we evolve past ego and let down our physical barriers of "beauty" that is held in youth, we begin to see the magnitude and sublimity of the weathered, wrinkled, well-lived, well-loved face of age/the ages within We.  Here We will live indefinitely, regardless of physical expiration.

As I was accepting and invitation friendship here within Zaadz, I replied "I hope to see you around the world of zaadz, as well as within the oxygen filled realm of reality"

This made me wonder...what is "reality"  is it the specfic characteristic of a place that contains oxygen?  That we can physically move from place to place?  Is Zaadz a fatasy land?  A cyber land?  Or can zaadz truly be a place of reality?

I think I will define reality as any place where real individuals interact.  By 'real' I say; true, honest, sincere, alive, awake, heartened, open, and energetic.
If this becomes my definition then YES, zaadz is the real world!

With an attitude of gratitude, I am proud to be a citizen of this  real world 

Quite the question as of late in my life!  The omnicient powers of zaadz...

The more and more I've been searching for my truth in life I have been wondering what my intellect deams an 'ideal life'.  The trouble I have is the magnitude of possibility.  I guess I should feel fortunate that I don't feel tracked per se into one specfic interest; on the contrary I almost feel overwhelmed with the liberal arts approach that is my life.  I have been trying to figure out the best way to create a collaboration of these avenues of strength into ONE.

In reposnse to the actual question, I have realized in the recent past that I truly DO have the support of everyone around me; it has been my own fear that has been restricting me from following my truth.

Answer= not what I would do, but what I will do!

  Created on 5/31/2007 - (stream of consciouness as a respone to a writing prompt) ~turned out to be an addition to my series of self analysis - 10 months later

Don't ask what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who come alive." - John Elderidge

Come alive!!!!! Awaken, from sleep, from a zombie state.  Do people even realize they are dead?  Is it sad that you need a sharp thrust to make this realization?  Why aren't we born awake? or are we?  I'm unsure. I don't feel I have ever been dead.  Even at a young age I've always questioned and played with reality and expectation.  I am well trained to perform to expectation, I will agree there, but I am conscious of my state.  I believe the dead ones are those who are ignorant to otherness, ignorant to the possibility that there is another realm of existence, that there IS unending potential and ability.  I may do what I do because it is safe and familiar, but it is not because I don't know anything else.  I see so many so often on the news or in the world that are so ignorant to opportunity.  I see opportunity I am merely afraid to take it.  I am working, I am working, I am working.  I work to sleep to wake.  I want to awaken!  I want to find my truth and live it!  I want to feel entirely alive!  It is scary to make this leap of faith into a new world.  I feel greatness resonating within and I know I need to release it.  I cannot harbor it inside and wait for an explosion, that would certainly be worse?

The first Matrix movie is the imagery that flashes when I consider where I am in life.  I find that movie to be such a beautiful analogy to self-actualization, and finding and living your truth.  I see my sister and my parents and although they are intelligent and understand reality and have compassion for otherness, they live enclosed in the sphere that is their existence.  They do what they do because it is what they know.  I struggle here because I don't know how to express to them how I know what I know, and how to live how I want to live and still satisfy their needs for my happiness.  That is irony, no?  They essentially only want me to be happy, yet I feel in order to make them happy in regards to my life I need to do what they expect I want to do.  However, for me to be truly happy I need to branch out, take what I know and make it more, expand it, feed it grow it.  I cannot live in a box, I must unplug as neo did and take that enormous leap of faith into the unknown.  I feel maybe I have a key to a new world.  Even if it is a merely a key to a new world for me; I don't expect to be the savior of human kind....although who knows if I never take that chance. hahahaha 

Does anyone ever predict their actual influence?  Do you think Columbus had any idea that he would be accredited the eternal discovery of modern society? (At least on this side of the pond)  Oh, maybe not Chris, because I so detest the things that spawned from him, yet I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him.  Let's go with Gates, bill gates.  Could he even fathom?  I doubt he had any clue he would make such an impact on the discovery of the new world.  Maybe not in the physical sense as discovering a continent, but he can be accredited much like Columbus as he founded land that lends to exponential development.  I bet he had an inkling of greatness, a spark inside.  Do you think his parents wanted him to do something else?  Did he force himself to branch out and go against expectation?  He's still Alive, I guess I could ask him.

To be alive!  To find and save the new world that is upon us.  To be part of the collective that is our salvation. This is my intention.  This is my identity.  I must feed my urge to expand my mind, intellect, character...I must be true to myself in order to find and live my truth.

silky skin all damp and dank with sweat induced by sun, by fun...seawater, salty, sticky slippery, sex and flex.  Flip and flap with freedom from fundamental routine and regualtions. Elations!  loves last little, loves leave losses, but lonliness is never present. People play and pray and plunge into projects that inspire, never feeling tired. 

Trips and traps; tourists not telephones or weekly planners...making memories not memos or xerox copies, hard drives or rigid floppies.  Flip-flops, bottle tops, halter tops and beach side shops.  Cheer and beer as older men leer at mostly naked ladies laying in the rays for days on end, oh heaven send the sand and sun, the fun!

Created on 8/8/2006 3:27:00 PM (stream of consciousness)

Antithesis~

Etymology: Late Latin, from Greek, literally, opposition, from antitithenai to oppose, from anti- + tithenai to set



The direct opposite; the rhetorical opposition of ideals




Can two goldfish live in the same bowl, coexisting, swimming, swirling, competing for food, entertaining each other? Can they grow at the same rate? Will one outlive the other in all circumstances?

Can they live just as prosperously alone? Maybe fish aren't the best analogy, but the image provides the desired impact…

Picture a black and a white fish, yin and yang, good and evil




Opposition is instituted from childhood, cartoons with little angels and little devils equally encouraging the character to make a choice, choose one over the other. It is up to that character to select one. Morally it seems fit to chose the angel every time, but in reality is that always the case? Can we as humans survive with only one half of our conscience? If we always choose the angel how can we interpret the evil in the world? Are some choices meant to allow for bad to overcome?

Look at religion…Can God and good survive without the constant force of evil? Ideally yes, that is the “intended” way of humanity when you consider Christianity, no? Without original sin we would all be blissfully living ignorant to anything other than perfection. But that wasn't the way of it right form the beginning. If we are God's children and his name and spirit wouldn't last without our perpetuation, then why do we think that we could survive without sin? Evangelicals, mission organizations, salvations, etc… can “good doers” survive and have purpose without evil-doers, less fortunate? I f there was no one to preach to or convert then who would be the audience for this type of conversation? An argument or conversation cannot go anywhere if all parties agree; there would be no forward progress without necessity. “Necessity is the mother of all invention” no? As a people we wouldn't be anywhere but where we were in the Garden of Eden without any mark of the devil. Why is everything that is so delightfully indulgent so sinful? Why are some of the greatest joys derived from dark deeds? If procreation is the only reason for sex then why does it feel so good? Sure, many say so we as a people will continue to produce, but many species, all besides ourselves and dolphins to my knowledge continue to procreate without the pleasure of physical stimulation. Is it wrong to indulge in sex if you're not trying to conceive? If you're married they say no, but what does that have to do with it. Historically we consider right and wrong and make laws or moral rules to follow to guide our lives based on God's will. Like it or not, in my culture Christianity is the root of all laws, and these were only created from necessity! Again the necessity producing forward progress. Are laws always forward progress. I don't agree



Half full or half empty? Why can't it just be half? Both sides coexisting as a reality? I lay here swimming in my own thoughts, two fish in my head swirling and playing, competing for power, food and life. Does everyone feel like this? Are we all so two sided? Why does it feel so good to have so much going on? And so unsettling at the same time? I feel like I have two selves, one that is centered, grounded realistic. I understand complexities of the world even to my own disadvantage and demise at times. I see evil and play at it. I don't have to buy into it, but I must acknowledge its existence in order to manipulate it to get what I need, want or see productive. I must understand it to learn from it and sometimes that means complying. I hate the capitalistic corporate world and yet out of necessity I have become a part of it. Temporary as it may be I see that I need money to be able to explore the freedoms it brings and to realize my dreams. I was supposed to be a teacher but I couldn't enjoy that because I didn't have enough money so I had to have another job which kept me up all night then in turn I wasn't enjoying the things I thought I could enjoy by having more money because I had no time to do anything but work. One work suffered because of the other and my mind and emotions suffered because I had no time to put any energy into exploring what I felt, thought, or even needed.

My favorite part of waking up every day is the realization that I have another new day to experience being alive!  I have the opportunity to continued unfinished projects or unfinished conversations.  I have the opportunity to begin new ones as well. 


Essentially, I love waking up becuase it is the epitomy of opportunity.